- Most kids fare better with their own parents than they do in great foster homes. For some kids this isn’t possible, and then we do the very best we can to find fabulous adoptive homes where many kids live wonderful lives. But the statistics don’t lie–overall kids have better outcomes if they can safely remain with the parents who raised them.
- So anything we can do to strengthen families is time and money well spent.
- Many addicts never quit. Most repeatedly cycle through relapse and recovery, with some mired in relapse, some firmer in their recovery.
- So anything we can do to prevent addiction is also time and money well spent.
- A few people are truly terrible. Unfixable, to the core terrible. But in the thousands of people I have seen, I have witnessed the reprehensible only a handful of times.
- Parents love their kids and are usually doing the best they can. Child protection workers who can’t find empathy for parents shouldn’t be child protection workers. We can hold them accountable, and we can expect and support them to do better, but we can do so with compassion and humanity.
- It’s not about me. When I get yelled at, they aren’t really yelling at me. When they don’t change, or stay sober, or ever get their kids back, it’s not my fault. If I make it about me, then I get in the way of the work the families have to do.
- So I better take care of me. I have a lot of feelings about the things I witness every day, and I need to know how to decompress and let go.
- Bad Things happen. The only way to survive in child protection is to understand and accept this fact, and then to find motivation and strength in being the person to help put things back together, because..
- People can recover when those Bad Things happen. I have worked with so many parents who admit that they were resentful at first, but now are grateful that their family is together and healthy and whole. I have seen kids suffer horrific trauma, and over and over again they find a way to recover and move on. Witnessing resilience is a great privilege, and the reason I go back, day after day.
I wrote my novels Unprotected and Unattached because I wanted to share those lessons. My novels are available in select local book stores and at amazon.com and Barnes and Noble.